What is your idea of a perfect restaurant?
ONE WHERE THE CUSTOMERS JUST COME IN AND EAT WHAT YOU HAVE ON THE MENU!!!!!! NO ALLERGIES, NO MODS, NO PPL ASKIN IF YOU CAN HEAT UP A PIE THEY BROUGHT FROM HOME CUZ THEY DON'T LIKE LAVA CAKES!!!!!
What is your greatest fear at work?
THAT I CAN'T POSSIBLY GET EVERYTHING DONE AND THAT THE STRESS WILL CAUSE MY HEART TO ACTUALLY EXPLODE OUT OF MY CHEST, LAND ON A GUESTS' PLATE AND PROMPT THEM TO GIVE US A NEGATIVE YELP REVIEW.
Which working Chef do you most admire?
BRO THAT IS A LONG LONG LIST. I ADMIRE SO MANY PPL AND AM IN CONSTANT AWE OF ALL THE TALENT IN THIS INDUSTRY. U KNO WHO I RLLY LIKE THO? THAT CONNIE DE SOUZA. SHE'S SO WELL BALANCED AND SUCH A GREAT ROLE MODEL FOR OTHERS IN THE FIELD. ITS NOT JUST THAT SHE'S A GREAT CHEF, BUT SHE'S SMART AND SHE'S GOT BUSINESS ACUMEN. TRIPLE THREAT!!!!!
What part of work ‘you’ do you most deplore in yourself?
SOMETIMES I GET SO SO MAD I LITERALLY CANT BREATHE AND I HAVE TROUBLE COMMUNICATIN MY FEEDBACK IN A WAY THAT ISNT FULL OF RAGE.
What would instantly make you fire someone?
APATHY.
What was your most extravagant purchase for your restaurant?
A GEORGE FOREMAN PLANCHA. PRICEY, BUT WORTH IT. REALLY KNOCKS OUT THE FAT!!!!
What is your favourite food journey?
I USED TO LIVE IN BERLIN AND THERE IS THIS EPIC TURKISH MARKET ON KOTTBUSSER DAMM TWICE A WEEK. THERE'S JUST SO MANY THINGS TO EAT THAT ARE WONDERFUL AND STRANGE; CAKES SOAKED IN HONEY, FOLDED OVER PASTRIES STUFFED W/ SPINACH AND FETA, SURIMI, DONERS, 18 DIFFERENT KINDS OF FETA, AND MY FAVE, THIS LITTLE JAMAICAN LADY AT THE END WHO MAKES FRIED PLANTAINS AND PIGEON PEAS WHICH IS THE BEST THING I'VE EVER EATEN. I GO BACK EVERY CHANCE I GET AND I ALWAYS FIND SOMETHING NEW AND EXCITING.
What words or phrases do you most overuse at work?
I'VE BEEN TOLD ITS ANNOYING THAT I REFER TO EVERYONE AS A "BRO."
What do you regret most after all your years in the business?
I WISH I HAD BEEN LESS FURIOUS FOR THE FIRST HALF OF MY CAREER. IM MELLOWING NOW.
What do you love most in about this industry?
THERE IS ALWAYS SOMETHING NEW TO LEARN!!!! ALSO THE SNACKS ARE PRETTY GOOD!!!!!
What is your current state of mind?
IM GENERALLY PRETTY CONFUSED ALL THE TIME. BUT IM WORKIN THROUGH IT.
If you could change anything about the restaurant industry where you are, what would it be?
I CAN'T RLLY WEIGH IN ON THIS BECAUSE I ALMOST NEVER GET OUT AND IM RELATIVELY NEW IN TOWN SO I ACTUALLY HAVE NO CHEF FRIENDS!!!!!
What do you consider your most essential ingredient?
DORITOS. STILL WAITING ON THAT SPONSORSHIP . . . .
The work/life balance struggle is real. How good of a juggler are you?
PRETTY TERRIBLE. BUT IM GETTIN BETTER!!!!
Tips?
READ BOOKS. THEY ARE SMARTER THAN YOU.
What is your most treasured kitchen tool?
MY STALWART INTELLECT!!!!!!
What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
A CHAMPAGNE HANGOVER.
When you finally retire, were will you live?
NOT SURE YET!!!! MY PLAN IS TO JUST KEEP SWIPING RIGHT TIL SOMEONE DECIDES TO KEEP ME!!!!!!
What is your most marked characteristic?
IM PRETTY FUNNY.
What is the quality you most like in a chef?
WHIMSY.
What is your greatest inspiration/motivation?
JUST DONT BE TERRIBLE.
Superman or Spiderman?
WONDERWOMAN!!!!!!
What is the first thing you remember cooking?
MARINARA. LOST THE TIP OF MY THUMB CUTTING CARROTS. I WAS 3.
Beck or Clapton?
CLAPTON.
You have to cook Escoffier’s death row meal. Menu?
OH YOU KNOW, THE USUAL. ORTOLAN, TRUFFLES, LOTS OF FOIE, MAYBE SOME OF THOSE LITTLE TAQUITOS YOU GET FROM 7 11 PLATED VERY FANCY W/ A BEURRE BLANC. PROBABLY END W/ LOTS OF FERNET AND CHOCO TACOS!!!! GO OUT W/ A BANG!
Favourite kitchen word or phrase?
SOIGNÉ!!!!!!
Read more about the special mystique of Chef Jacques La Merde here.
Like to learn more about your favourite chefs? Get up close and personal with the weekly #BluntInquiry edition on our blog!
